Stoner is driving his car with other stoner friend. Gets pulled over. Practising what to say
Stoner: Oh, god… shit… ok… let’s be cool. Ok… right… what’s the problem? Officer? That right?
Other stoner: no, it’s what seems to be the problem. What seems to be the problem.
Stoner: what seeeems to be the problem, officer?
Other stoner: seems. gotta make it sound right. Seems. seems.
Stoner: seeeeeeeeems.
Other Stoner: seeeems.
Stoner: how about if i was more casual. Like… what’s the craik?
Other stoner: no. Are you irish? No. Then it would look bad. It’s just about the seems.
Stoner: wat seeeeeems to be the craik officer?
Other Stoner: No! Not Craik! Sounds like Crack.
Stoner: crack.
Other Stoner: The cop will think u have crack.
Stoner: good point. I don’t have crack. Crack. What seems to be the crack. Crack. What’s the crack
Officer arrives. Stoner rolls down window.
Officer: any idea how fast u were going?
Stoner: I have crack.
Pause.
Stoner: internally WHY DID I SAY THAT.
Little Loki Man
my favourite bit from Immortals
My name is inigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
If Celebrities are able to be protected by the witness protection programme?
you know, where they give you a fake name and address and you have to basically “disappear” until any threat goes away.
it’d be difficult to disappear if your face was known by everyone.
Or imagine like
a football player or something was put under witness protection,
you’d hav to blur out that one guy on the pitch, and every time he gets the ball the commentator wud hav to b like
“And he passes it to [NO-ONE], and [NO-ONE] is in there, only him and the goalie left! He shoot! HE SCORES! EXCELLENT GOAL by [NO-ONE]
hmm.
just musing i guess but still.
