December 2011
2 posts
Stoned.
Stoner is driving his car with other stoner friend. Gets pulled over. Practising what to say
Stoner: Oh, god… shit… ok… let’s be cool. Ok… right… what’s the problem? Officer? That right?
Other stoner: no, it’s what seems to be the problem. What seems to be the problem.
Stoner: what seeeems to be the problem, officer?
Other stoner: seems. gotta make it sound right....
November 2011
9 posts
hello
My name is inigo montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3W5GDkgf2w&feature=related
I wonder
If Celebrities are able to be protected by the witness protection programme?
you know, where they give you a fake name and address and you have to basically “disappear” until any threat goes away.
it’d be difficult to disappear if your face was known by everyone.
Or imagine like
a football player or something was put under witness protection,
you’d hav to blur out...
Just a little mash up i made for youse
Upstanding Display
http://www.npr.org/2011/11/06/141934309/first-listen-childish-gambino-camp?sc=tw&cc=twmp
Tangential Poem Man
Here’s an idea for a superhero. He’s this guy, but his only real power is that he can never write a poem that stays consistent to its original intentions. More of a super-deficiency of sorts. Here’s an example of a poem by tangential poem man:
“Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Blue as the sea,
Where fishes swim,
And on that subject, i am reminded of an instance a few...
October 2011
8 posts
July 2011
1 post
June 2011
4 posts
musing on being reblogged for the first time
i feel like a fucking icon.
To be a twat and leave this untitled.
They say you don’t know what you have until you lose it.
I didn’t know what i’d lost until i found it.
And more and more i start to wonder if i ever had it in the first place.
Even going so far as to question what the fuck “it” ever was at all.
Is this a poem? it’s written in a weird way, and there’s a sense of pseudo rhythm to it.
But your affinity...
Dustbucket
Messy.
A Mish-mash of mic-macs and nic nacs and bric-a-brac.
Bits ‘n’ bobs. All sorts. odd jobs.
And stumbling upon old shit I forgot.
A bundle of books begun but abandoned.
Old action figure stuck in the crack between the cupboard and the wall.
A memoire of a moron with growing pains and an affinity for self depracation.
Self depreciation.
I forget which one is which.
And...
Bethesda
FUCK YOU MR. HOUSE! FUCK YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FUCKING ESTABLISHMENT!
I OWN NEW VEGAS NOW!
March 2011
2 posts
hahahah
harh arh arh arh arh
rustbucket
Increase in apathy,
Scratch that,
Increase in confusion,
Increase in appetite,
Fuck it,
Increase in gluttony.
Decrease in personal well being,
Dead right,
The beginnings of a migraine
Rubbing the temple for comfort,
To no avail,
Feel the texture of split ends.
And a constant, brilliant pain just behind the left eye ball,
The right one too begins to suffer,
And I look up and the sun...
February 2011
3 posts
F-bomb
Oh lord. The aching’s stopped,
For all this time I thought it was them.
Oh man, the quaking’s stopped,
Running circles around and around and around.
Fickle little fairies.
Ugly ducklings
Complete and utter fruitcakes
Killing moon has come too soon
Song lyrics that become lines in poetry
Song lyrics that become lines in comedy
A whistle through the air
Kadavar.
Enya.
...
squidge
A poem
A fallacy
A farce
A mockery
A trickery
Some crockery
A fakery
A forgery
A monster
Monstrocity
Forgetting me,
Forgetting me,
Forgetting me.
Forget me.
Forget.
January 2011
3 posts
A Run Down of Some of My Favourite Stand Ups
Right, so I’m a big fan of stand up comedy, and so i thought i’d just post a list with some links to some of my favourite stand up comedians at the moment. I think i’ll do it as a form of top (however many i think of) list or something? They’re all as cool as each other to me, so there’s no particular order. I’m gnna do about between 10 and 20, so if...
TEN MINUTES
blast from the past, an old cover of amy...
November 2010
1 post
October 2010
1 post
September 2010
1 post
An improvised short story
this is going to be a short story.
I don’t know what it is going to be about.
I don’t know who any of the main characters are.
until now.
the main character is a fox.
he is a large anthropomorphic fox.
he has a haircut like a quif like Elvis used to have before his burger/toilet incident.
He wears a leather jacket, no pants. This, frankly, is grotesque. Why is it that if an...
July 2010
3 posts
a bunch o' lyrics
What You Want
You invited me into your soul,
And foolishly, I decided to go,
With all due respect, you got what you want,
A world where I’ll never belong
And the sky closes in,
And Sinks into my skin,
As I try to breathe,
And convince myself, I’m free,
Romance is dead, it died from neglect,
And chivalry got frustrated and left,
And the only thing worthwhile left is love,
...
June 2010
4 posts
boxcarblue-deactivated20100619 asked: how's life man?
xx
xx
listen up, punchbags
Coach: Now I don’t like you and you don’t like me. But I guess I would like you if you did like me but you don’t like me therefore I don’t like you. We got a big game coming up tomorrow. Johnny, I want you upfront. Nathan, you gotta be like concrete in the back man. You’re dynamite in the D man and don’t you forget it. Ok Jones, Riley, you’re our go to...
May 2010
2 posts
I Can’t.
Stop.
Loving you.
These are awesome →
April 2010
8 posts
Blog.
Introduction to blog.
Mention of topical issue.
Mention of personal opinion of said topical issue.
Mention of cliched romantic gesture.
Mention of poetry.
Self referentiality.
Farewell.
phrases i'd love to see used as pick up lines
Do you like cranberries? *if yes* I smell like cranberries. *pause* wanna talk about it?
We have to talk.
Hey, I’m not a rapist or anything but…
I just a whole bottle!
*in a very loud club* YOU ARE SLIGHTLY BELOW MY STANDARDS BUT I’M WASTED SO I AM GOING TO DESPERATELY DANCE NEAR YOU FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT GLANCING OVER MY SHOULDER AT YOU IN THE HOPE THAT THE SHEER POWER...
I was drunk...
some drunken ramblings i found on my ipod
People take great measures to try and explain a notion that I should probably take a little bit more seriously, consering my position as a film student. This notion is that ‘an image can say a thouand words’. This necessity to stress the importance, and the potence of imagery, whilst I can understand its basic premise, bemuses me.
An image is...
My Fucking Neighbours
Kill my fucking neighbours, Bunch of dimwit, Neanderthal, Drink anything you can, Fuck anything in a skirt, Ignorant to the concept of sleep, Assholes. Eight in the fucking morning, They roll up, Foghorn out, Why the fuck do they have a foghorn? It was probably a rape alarm that they took from some poor woman. Chatting away, Not an ounce of intellect in anything they say or do, No wonder women...
pretentious bullshit
did you hear about the boy who loved too much?
his heart turned to stone and his mind to dust.
his soul swelled up and his conscience cracked
and he’d do anything to get his life back.